Roasted Celery Soup

*Recipe follows story

I go vegetable shopping with the best intentions, but sometimes my good intentions translate into laziness and I end up forgetting why I bought said vegetable in the first place.  After a week, I couldn’t even remember why I bought a giant honking bunch of celery.  The fact that celery had now grown tired eyes, a runny nose, and a slightly faded color - which could only be categorized as depression - as it was now lying fallow, in the small drawer, way on the bottom of my small refrigerator, seemed to sadden me.  I wouldn’t want to be the vegetable that so many people ignore, with the exception of being used to make a stock or a dietetic (ick word) snack.  I thought I could potentially create a masterful summer salad bean-o-copia, and use the celery to add a bit of crunch and color, or make ants on a log - in case I needed to regress and turn inwardly to childhood - while I Netflix-ed The Little Mermaid or some shit like that.

But that never happened…

No… 

After much toil, and a long walk up Ditmars Blvd. in the 90 degree heat, scent of hot garbage and poop emanating from the concrete, all in the name of purchasing a juicy and refreshing  watermelon, I arrived home, turned on my oven and roasted celery.  I think the walk, in the heat, created some sort of mental imbalance wherein oven usage seemed like it would be a mighty fine idea.

I’m a roasting diva, and I know it wasn’t rational, but I couldn’t help myself.  This celery deserved to have life breathed back into it; to be used as more than garnish - more than just a peanut butter dipping stick, and I was going to be the woman to change the plight of this celery’s life.   

I thought, logically, of course, not only will I roast this celery into a beautiful brown oblivion - in a 400 degree oven - but then, and only then, would it be in the ripened state to pulverize, process and make into a most silky soup.

The day after I made the roasted celery soup, my very vegetarian co-worker came to my apartment to hook my Wii up to my TV - so I could stream movies, from my computer, and enjoy them on my large (20”) box set.  The soup was to make for a nice, light, veg-friendly, thank you dinner.

That evening I learned a few things about electronics & technology, their capabilities, my habits as a single woman and my meal:

1.  I need a new television set, the one I have is just plain old embarrassing (and Ross kept reminding me of this)
2.  I can download video games from the internet and play instantly on my Wii (I only know this because I gave Ross my credit card and I miraculously owned more video games)
3.  Even though I suck at Super Mario 3, and playing Tetris 12 feet away from my 20” TV set burns my eyes, it’s still so much fun (See #1 - I need a new TV set)
4.  Roasted celery soup is delicious - especially large bowls of it - and especially when eaten in my air conditioned living room (With a kind friend - even if he did make fun of my subpar/poor excuse for an entertainment center set-up)

I made potato chips, for the side, and topped the soup with just a little bit of cream.  The soup can also be enjoyed with a honk of bread or chilled - as that makes more sense in the summer.  But I like it hot.  Some people, they like it hot.

Proudly turn your oven on, in the scorching heat, do things to celery (that tasteless and tongue tingling vegetable) that feel naughty, nom happily, and play video games in your underwear (after your company leaves, of course).

Roasted Celery Soup

1 bunch of celery (washed, dried and left whole)
4 red potatoes (peeled and quartered)
1 bag baby carrots (left whole)
1 large onion (sliced)
1/2 c. olive oil divided
6 cups of water
3 extra large vegetable bullion cubes
1/2 c. flat leaf parsley (coarsely chopped)
Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
Cream (optional) 

-Preheat oven to 400 degrees
-Place celery and potatoes in one roasting tray and coat with 1/4 c. of olive oil and salt
-Place carrots and onions in another roasting pan, coat with remaining olive oil and salt
-Roast vegetables for 45-50 minutes, until soft and brown
-Remove vegetables from the oven and place in a large stock pot with water, vegetable bullion and parsley, bringing everything to a boil and allowing to simmer (on low heat) for 90 minutes
-Let mixture cool down
-Whip out a blender (or immersion) and blend all vegetables into a beautiful oblivion
-Pass liquid mixture through a strainer, so soup texture is smooth and discard any lingering veggie bits

Top soup with freshly ground black pepper and a little bit of cream, or serve as is.